Former Lifes and Past Regrets
by RTds9
Summary: While at a party for her brother and his friends,Lizzie must face the biggest regret of her whole life.Lizzie POV,LG angst with mention of MG


TITLE-Former Lifes and Past Regrets

DISCLAIMER-Own nothing from LMG and make no money off this.

RATING-Teen

A/N-Hey guys/girls I have had a SEVERE case of writers block for a long time.This came to me and I had to get it down.I'm rusty after being gone for so long so I hope you all don't hate me or hate this.Oh by the way this story is in Lizzie's POV which is a form of writting that I don't do much of.So if it's wrong or bad please forgive me.

LIZZIE'S POV

_I find myself standing out on my parents back patio.My hands gripped around the porch railing while looking up at the full moon that is shining down upon me. I had to take a second and get out of that nut house my parent's home had become.When I agreed to come to Matt's gradation party I had no idea there would be so many people here.I don't do well in front of crowds. Never have what with being a klutz and all._

_But if I'm honest with myself that's not the reason why I'm standing out here all alone.No I'm all alone out here because I know any second now he'll be here...with HER.And that's something I don't want to deal with right now._

"Hey there you are!"

_And there he is.The reason I'm standing out here. I grip the railing a little tighter and close my eyes for a second trying to get my heart beat back under control before turning around to face him._

"Hey"

_How the hell can one word be so hard to say?_

"Hey right back at you."

_He hugs me and I close my eyes as I hug him back,loving the feel of his body against mine.When we part I know I must look like an idiot but I can't help but to stare at him.He looks exactly like the last time I saw him.That same goofy but lovable smile plastered on his face,the same wild hair you just want to run your hands through and try to tame._

"I was looking all over for you in there."

"Oh I was just out here trying to get some fresh air." I wave my hand around the back patio.

_God please don't let that have sound as lame and fake to him as it just did to me._

"Yeah fresh air is good.It is a tad crowded in there. Who knew Matt had so many friends. I thought it was only just him Lanny and Melina."

_I return the smile even though it's fake._

"Well it is a gradation party for the three of them.So some of the crowd might be in there to see one of the other two."

"Matt gradating high school? God I feel old!"

_This time as I watch you shake your head my smile is for real._

"I heard about Matt's scholarship to play football at the University of Colorado."

"Yeah according to mom dad was walking around with his chest puffed out with pride for about a month." I roll my eyes "Mom of course is still worried he's going to get hurt not to mention she hates the fact he's going to be going off to college so far away.She still sees him as her 'little baby boy'."

"What about him and Melina?"

_I give him a questioning look._

"I mean about staying together? Are they going to try and make a long distance relationship thing work?"

"Nope" I shake my head "She's going with him."

"What?!"

"The two of them talked and when it became known that Matt would be taking the scholarship to Colorado,Melina personally drove all the way there one day to apply .I think she terrified the admission people there so bad they were to scared to not to let her in."

"Yeah that sounds like her.But I thought she just took an internship job at that tv station for the summer?"

"She did." I nod "She'll still be here for three months working there for the summer while Matt will go to the school.She'll join him later."

"She's going to leave him all alone at the school for three months? I mean I didn't play football of course but I can remember what the football groupies were like a USC.Isn't she afraid some hot coed might try and throw herself at Matt when she's not there?"

_I laugh at that. I couldn't help it but too.And for the first time in some time now my laugh is genuine._

"Oh please not only is my little brother hopelessly in love with his girlfriend,he knows if he was to do anything stupid like mess around on her Melina would reach down and rip off a part of his anatomy he's very fond of."

_We both share a smile at that._

"So Matt's heading off to college,huh? Man it seems just like yesterday he was that annoying little squirt that used to follow you,me and Miranda around every where we went."

_I hope he didn't see the slight flinch I gave at the mention of that name.The name that I've slowly come to hate with a passion. A passion that I have let no one know about for they would not understand it._

"So where is Miranda?" I make a damn hard effort to try and keep the venom out of my voice as I looked around...as if I cared.

"Oh she's inside talking to your mom and dad.As soon as we came in the door your mom grabbed her in a big hug and starting asking here all kind of questions about what's been going on in our lives now."

_Yeah that's my mom alright.Got to know everything that's going on in everyone's business._

"So Lizzie McGuire,how have you been?"

_Missing you horribly since the last time I saw you! Not to mention kicking myself everyday for the fact I never opened my eyes to see what was right in front of me!_

"Oh I've been doing ok." I lied through my teeth.

"Yeah I heard."

_I give him a puzzled look._

"Your mom told me about that new guy at work that your dating."

_God sometimes I hate my mother and her big mouth._

"Ohhh yeah...it's just well...it...I mean he's not really that big of a deal as my mom likes to think he is."

"Ohh and why's that?"

_Because he's not you!! I wanted to scream at him but kept my mouth shut and said..._

"Ohh you know my mom always making mountains out of mole hills and trying to fix everyone up."

"Yeah I remember before the wedding how she was throwing all those guys at you in order to make sure you'd have a date."

_THE wedding...emphasis on the word THE...the most awful day of my life.The day I was asked to be maid of honor while my former best friend promised to love and cherish till death does she part to my other best friend, the guy I had suddenly realized was the love of my life.But I was too late.It had taken me too long to notice him and when I finally did he had fallen in love with someone else and than married her._

_Putting those thoughts behind me I force a fake smile on my face deflected the scrutiny back to him._

."So how are you and Miranda doing?"

_Not that I really wanted to know how they were doing.Unless they were about to break up...hey one can only hope right?_

"We're doing great really great.In fact that's part of the reason why I was looking for you."

_I raise my eyebrows._

"Seeing how you're my best friend I wanted to be the one to tell you the big news. Miranda's pregnant! We're going to have a baby can you believe it?! I'm going to be a dad! Isn't that great?!"

_My heart stopped. I could actually feel it seize up in my chest and stop in midbeat.A baby? And there it went...the slim hope I was holding on to that maybe one day he and Miranda might break up and I'd at last have my chance for him.But a baby changes everything,for I know him.He's a stand by the one he loves forever type of guy.He would never leave her now that they are a family._

_So I put another fake smile upon my face,tell him how happy I am for them and I hug him again while wishing the whole time it was I that was in Miranda's place.__When we break the hug I watch as he looks back toward the house with a laugh._

"I think I'll head on back in there and see if I can't rescue my wife away from your mom."

_I watch him walk back toward the house, just as he makes it too the door he turns back to me._

"You know Lizzie,me and Miranda have missed you since you moved away.It's not the same around here without our best friend.We love you."

_And with that I watch him head back into the party.With tears blurring my vision I turn back to look up at the moon once again while whispering something I should have said years ago._

"I love you too Gordo."

THE END


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